Dangit!!!

I weighed this morning & I lost a big ole goose egg!  I can't believe it.  I worked out so much this week and watched what I ate.  However, I didn't get the rest I should have & I didn't drink a lot of water.  I definitely feel smaller though.  I will keep doing what I'm doing and hope for a big weight loss next week.  This is a good example of how hard work may not pay off immediately but it WILL pay off.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Nervous

It's almost here.  Weigh day!  I just finished my circuits (last chance work out).  I hope I did all I needed to, to get into the 220's.  I'd love to have 7 lbs off, but will consider it a success if I'm in the 220's.  I'm on my way to finish wrapping presents, finish folding laundry, finish packing and then, I'm going to fall into bed.  I'll blog tomorrow as soon as I weigh. 

Good night!

Determined

In my last blog I told you I need to lose 6.75 lbs, this week, to meet my goal of having half of my weight loss done by Christmas day. I'm determined to see if I can do it. I don't plan on taking a break from working out this week. I also work every day at Costco so I'm burning even more calories there. I'm so determined that I came home last night from work and started my circuits at 11:15 pm. I worked out for an hour. As I'm writing this I'm not sure if that's determination or pure crazy. Hmmmm. . . .

I plan on running this afternoon and then getting a circuit in after work tonight. I'll let you know if I pull it off. Right now I'm thinking THAT's CRAZY.

A side note: We don’t have any updates on our situation. We are still praying and believing that everything’s going to work out. I can’t spend anymore energy worrying so I’m focusing totally and completely on my weight loss and Christmas. :)

Generosity

We have been the recipients of some major generosity over the past few weeks. It has been an amazing and humbling experience. Before I say anything further I would like to thank you, you know who you are. You have truly blessed us!

One of the ways I have been blessed is in the area of clothing. As you can imagine, losing 69.5 lbs means my clothes don't fit. I have been able to pull a few things together and I've had a few birthday presents get me through. I haven't purchased a bunch of clothes because I'm continuing to lose weight and will be out of them before I know it. So I've resigned myself to having very few clothing choices. Believe me, it's a small price to pay for the way I'm feeling.

Just a few days ago I received a phone call from one of my neighbors. She was cleaning out her closet and wanted to know if I liked hand-me-downs. She said she knows how expensive it is to replace your wardrobe after you've lost weight. Of course I told her I'd love anything she'd pass to me.

You wouldn't believe what she brought over. WOW!! It seems like an entire wardrobe to me. Sweatshirts, t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, sweaters, a vest, swim suits, bras, a robe, pants, shorts, a swim suit cover, dresses. . . it was amazing! These clothes are all sizes 14-16. These are the sizes I should be fitting into in the next 30 lbs and they are nice clothes.

I am so excited to fit into these clothes. Right now they look so small to me. (I'm smiling as I write this.) I felt like a child during school clothes shopping season. Giddy!

Weigh Day!

Okay, so, I'm going to confess.  Last week I didn't post anything for weigh day because I put on 2.5 lbs.  That’s the first time since I started my weight loss journey that I've put on weight.  I feel okay posting this now because this week I lost 6.5 lbs.  Oh YAH!!!!  That's right, I'm 233 lbs now.  I'm down 69.5.  (I know, my thoughts too, dang it only .5 lb and I could say 70!)  That's okay though.  After the month that I've had I'm thrilled with this weight loss.  I have one more week until the end of the challenge and I need to lose 6.75 lbs to meet my goal, of being half way to my weight loss goal, by Christmas day.  I'm so excited to be in the 220's.  For some reason the 220's mean a lot to me.  When I think back to the times I have been in the 220's I remember feeling small.  It must be a weight loss milestone for me or something, I don't know.  I just can't wait to be there.  Hopefully next Friday! 

Biggest Loser Finale!!!

On a much happier note. . . .

Did you see The Biggest Loser tonight? I was so excited that Patrick won!!! (I wanted him to win so badly.) It was even more exciting to hear about the job that had been offered to him.

Congratulations Patrick and everyone else on The Biggest Loser Season 10. You were all amazing and such an inspiration!

It looks like season 11 is going to be fantastic! It begins January 4th. If you're looking for some inspiration to begin the New Year with, tune in. It should not disappoint.

Life's Toughest Moments

I'm not sure what to say today. I'm long overdue for a blog. . . I haven't written because I haven’t wanted to be a downer.

We are waiting on some very important news that will have devastating effects on my family financially, if it comes back a certain way. How do I process this? I don't know. I've tried many different tactics to keep myself away from food. I have good moments and bad moments. I'm still exercising, but I'm definitely turning to food for comfort. I'm fighting such an internal battle. When I do give in, I feel like such a failure. Then the spiral downward begins. If I'm a failure I might as well keep going. One morning last week I was lying in bed and was having a hard time finding any motivation to get up. It was 9 o'clock in the morning. Two of my children were already at school and my oldest was waiting for me to start school with her. All I could think about was what I was going to get up and eat. I wasn't thinking of anything healthy either. Fear and depression had gripped me that morning. I just wanted to numb the pain with food. As I was analyzing and speaking with God about it all, I realized that I was, in a way, punishing myself because of our circumstances. We find ourselves back in the same position we've been in many times before over the past 8 years and, once again, I have no control over it. I feel like a failure and worthless. Because I feel this way I punish myself by over eating or eating food that is horrible for me. I feel pain so I cause more. What's that about? I'm not a professional so I have no idea how to battle this. I will just keep fighting, and clawing and scratching to keep my head above water and win this war. I will continue to ask God for wisdom in how to handle the inner workings of myself.

We should have an answer in the next day or two. The anxiety of not knowing is the worst part. Once we know something we will be able to make some decisions and move forward.

Weigh Day

I haven't posted since Friday because I've been working so much.  I went ahead and weighed Friday morning because I decided it would keep me accountable.  Even though the week and half prior I hadn't done well with my eating or my exercise.  I'm happy to annouce that I still had a weight loss.  I lost 3 lbs in the two weeks.  I'm now at 237.  I have 11.5 lbs to go to meet my 10% goal by Christmas day and 11 lbs to go to meet my goal of having half of my weight loss done by Christmas day.  I can't believe I'm so close to being half way done.  Wow!

I am also happy to report that I did my circuits yesterday and today and also ran 4.4 miles yesterday.  I even worked at Costco yesterday for 6 hours and will work again today for another 6 hours.  My legs are screaming at me, but that's what Ibuprofen is for, right?!  :)

my Southern Oregon Turkey Trot - 2 Mile results



The group that ran in the Southern Oregon Turkey Trot 2010

I haven't blogged since the night before Thanksgiving. I hope you all had a restful and happy Thanksgiving.  My Thanksgiving was fabulous!! We woke up at 3:00 in the morning Thursday morning and drove to Medford. I had decided if we were able to get to the race in time, I would run the 8 mile race. We didn't get there in time for the 8 mile but did get there in just enough time to get our numbers & our chips on for the 2 mile race. I decided since it was a short race I was going to push myself as hard as I could. I am thrilled to report that I cut my time per mile by 1.45 minutes and ran the Turkey Trot at an 11.00 minute per mile pace. Yeah!!! I'm so excited! You can click on the link below to see my official results. The rest of the day was relaxing and joyful. I love being around with my family; it brings so much joy to my life. It's what I needed.

my Southern Oregon Turkey Trot - 2 Mile results

Since we've been home it's been hard to get back on track. I've worked every day since we've been home and have had no time to focus on anything. Also, we had a huge bomb dropped on us, figuratively speaking, and I wasn't prepared for it. It literally knocked me down and I haven't been able to pull myself back up. I sunk into a depression and turned to food. Prior to this bomb, I had hoped I changed enough that if anything big happened in my life I could handle it. I was wrong. This was such a big thing that food was the only way I knew to numb the pain.

As of tonight, I'm pulling myself up by the bootstraps and getting back on the wagon. I'm proud to say there has been enough of a change that I know to stand back up, dust myself off and get back to it. It's not the end of the world that I have been off my eating and exercise plan for the past week. I can look forward and continue my weight loss journey. This is HUGE. I have never been able to get right back to an eating plan once I've messed up. This time I know there's no option. Emotionally I handle life's stresses much better when I'm eating right and exercising. So tomorrow I will wake up and get back to it. Life will not seem so hard once my eating is back under control.

Another big part of my weight loss journey is remembering that I can’t control everything. What I am in control of is the food that goes in my mouth and the exercise I get. What I can’t control, God is in control of. I can rest in Him. He knows my every need.

This is one of my favorite worship songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UwUmh4gP4k

(Israel sings it)

I have a Maker
He Formed My Heart
before even time began
my life was in His hands

(chorus)
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call

(kids)
I have a father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
no matter where I go

(chorus)
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call